Guest Author: Carolyn Crane

Today, I get to welcome Carolyn Crane to Literary Escapism. Carolyn is getting ready to release her second Justine Jones: Disillusionist novel, Double Cross, in September.

SOME SECRETS COME BACK TO HAUNT. OTHERS COME TO KILL…

Justine Jones has lived her life as a fearful hypochondriac until she’s lured into the web of a mysterious mastermind named Packard. He gifts her with extraordinary mental powers-dooming her to fight Midcity’s shadowy war on paranormal crime in order to find the peace she so desperately craves.

But now, serial killers with unheard-of skills are terrorizing the most powerful beings in Midcity, including mastermind Packard – and his oldest friend and worst enemy, Midcity’s new mayor, who has the ability to bend matter itself to his will.

As the body count grows, Justine faces a crisis of conscience as she tests the limits of her new powers and faces an impossible choice between two flawed but brilliant men . . . one on a journey of redemption, and the other descending into a pit of moral depravity.

Make sure you stick around, we’re giving away a signed copy of either Mind Games or Double Cross – winner’s choice.
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First of all, congratulations to Jackie and baby Simon! What a lucky little baby Simon is to have you. How exciting!! I hope you two are enjoying each other (unless he hasn’t come out yet, and in that case…psst – hurry up, Simon!

Well, Jackie, you can’t fool us. We readers of your blog know the burning question that’s been on your mind about baby Simon – does he have, or will he develop, paranormal abilities of any kind? A telepath? Dhampire? Any fae blood in there? werewolf? Is Simon part alien? A weresnake at least?

I’m sorry to disappoint you – there are no weresnake or alien tests, but you’ll be happy to know that there are tests you can conduct on little Simon to determine if he has more common paranormal abilities. Aren’t you glad??

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TEST #1: Is Simon going to develop into a vampire…or a dhampir?

Answer yes or no to the following questions:

  • Does Simon require extra sunscreen?
  • Does he dislike garlic-flavored baby formula?
  • Has he ever tried to gnaw on inappropriate objects?
  • Does he gnaw on the throats or bellies of stuffed animals?
  • Do his little fingernails seem to be growing at an alarmingly fast rate?
  • Does he sleep a lot during the day?
  • Does he seem to be far more alert at night?
  • Does Simon seem to be annoyed at songs like “This little piggy” but enjoys depressing organ music?

Jackie, if you have answered yes to 5 or more of these questions, there is a strong chance Simon is a vampire baby, or a dhampir.

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TEST #2: Is Simon going to develop into a werewolf?

  1. Instead of lullabies one night, play a recording of dogs howling. Does Simon:
    • fuss and cry
    • Look confused.
    • Wail incredibly loudly
  2. Place a bloody hunk of room-temperature meat in Simon’s crib. Does he:
    • fuss and cry
    • Sniff the meat and look confused
    • Salivate and/or attempt to gnaw on it
  3. Bring Simon outside when there is a full moon. Does he:
    • fuss and cry
    • Look at you and totally ignore the moon
    • Wail incredibly loudly
  4. Show a cat to Simon. Does he
    • Fuss and cry
    • Turn away
    • Move his little lips and babble and drool and try to get to it
  5. Take Simon’s favorite toy away and have somebody cover his eyes, and then hide it in the room. Does he:
    • cry
    • smile and think it’s a game
    • move his little head around…as though he’s breathing in the scents

Jackie, if you answered C for most of these, Simon will transform into a werewolf! You should build a cage in the basement in a few years, and consider relocating to a rural area.

************

TEST #3: Is Simon a demon or demonically possessed?

Answer yes or no to the follow questions:

Does Simon:

  • Does Simon seem to dislike being called by his name, and ignores you when you say it…yet he turns his head toward your voice when you say other names?
  • Does Simon intentionally drop toys?
  • Have you ever had a babble conversation with Simon, but it really seems like he thinks he’s saying something? (i.e. speaking in an ancient demon language)
  • Does Simon often stare at absolutely nothing, but it really seems like he sees something?
  • Does Simon seem gleeful when there are animals around?
  • Do you household pets seem to dislike Simon?
  • Does Simon suddenly cry about absolutely nothing?
  • Does Simon smile and laugh when you make weird, scary faces…as if he prefers that kind of face to a normal face?
  • Does Simon drool or spit food out of his mouth when you play hymns or other religious music?

Jackie, if you answered YES for 5 of these, little Simon is a demon!!

******

Well, Jackie, I hope these tests have answered your questions about baby Simon. And, even if he is a paranormal, I’m sure it will be fine, and that he will be the cutest and sweetest little vampire, dhampir, werewolf or demon ever. Er, good luck!

xxoo

Carolyn Crane

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Want to purchase Carolyn’s Justine Jones: Disillusionist novels?

  1. Mind Games at Amazon or the Book Depository
  2. Double Cross at Amazon or the Book Depository

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Thank you Carolyn for compiling this great test! When I got it, I ran it against Ian as an infant and yup, he’s a werewolf. Four out of five questions were answered with “c”. That explains so much. *grin*

Contest Time! Carolyn has graciously offered to give away a signed copy of either Mind Games or Double Cross – winner’s choice. All you have to do is take the test against your own little one and let us know the results. If you don’t have your own, which species would you hope your little one answers to? Or you can simply ask Carolyn a question..

As always, there’s more ways of getting your name in the hat (remember, these aren’t mandatory to enter, just extra entries):

  • +1 for each place you post about today’s contest on your blog, social network, or anywhere you can. Digg it, stumble it, twit it, share it with the world. Wherever you share it, make sure you add a link to it along with your answer.
  • +1 to any review you comment on, however, comments must be meaningful. Just give me the title of the review and I’ll be able to figure it out from there.
  • +1 If you are a follower of Literary Escapism on Facebook and/or Twitter
  • +10 Purchase either Mind Games, Double Cross or any novel through LE’s Amazon store or the Book Depository sometime during this contest and send a copy of the receipt VIA email for your purchase to: jackie AT literaryescapism DOT com. Each purchase is worth ten entries.

There is one thing I am adding to my contests now…the winner must post a review of the novel someplace. Whether it is on their own blog, Amazon, GoodReads, LibraryThing or wherever, it doesn’t matter. Just help get the word out.

The contest will stay open until September 3rd, at which time I’ll determine the winner with help from the Research Randomizer and the List Randomizer.

I have not been contacting winners, so you will need to check back to see if you’ve won.

About Jackie 3273 Articles
I am a 30-something SAHM with two adorable boys and a supportive husband who is very tolerant of my reading addiction. I love to read and easily go through about a dozen books a month – well I did before I had kids. Now, not so much. After my first son was born, I began to take my hobby of reviewing a little more serious and started Literary Escapism to help with my sanity. I love to discuss the fabulous novels I’ve read and meeting all the wonderful people in the book blogging community has been amazing.

25 Comments

  1. Hey! Thanks so much for having me, Jackie! I hope this test is helpful to people. Oh, also, I should add, if the winner picks Double Cross, they’ll get it in late September after I get my copies!

  2. Carolyn, you always crack me up! And a big congrats to Jackie and her soon to be shift changing Simon.

    And no need the enter me in the contest.

  3. heehee. My teenager is a demon, but I figured that out a long time ago . I would like to win Mind Games, since it is the first one .

    1 point for me!

  4. I’m not entering the contest – just here to say “Hi” to Carolyn and make sure that Jackie’s keeping an eye on Simon’s scary developmental milestones! ;)

  5. I don’t have a litte one, but I’d hope he answered to dhampir. Does that mean I got to have sex with a sexy vampire? ::grins::

    I enjoyed the post, Carolyn is always so funny. I haven’t had a chance to read Mind Games yet, so that’s what I’d want if I were to win.

  6. Ha! I love that test. I don’t have any munchkins, but I think it would be kinda cool to have a little werewolf running around.

  7. Carolyn always comes up with the most hilarious guest posts! Love this. And yes – I don’t know how to admit it, but my little boy is… a… demon! Whew, I guess that explains some things.

    Not really, he’s my angel ;)

  8. Fun post! I don’t have a little one but if anything it would be cool if he was a werewolf.

    Can’t wait to read Double Cross!

    +1 LE facebook/twitter follower (vanpham88)

  9. My 11 year old son is a demon! I did not even need to take the test to know that one. He has exhibited all the signs since he was born.

    I would love a copy of Double Cross as I have already read Mind Games and I loved it.

    Thanks for the funny guest post.

  10. I haven’t procreated, and be grateful for it – the world deserves better than more of my screwed-up genes ;-)

    Instead, I’ll ask Carolyn a question: Little CJ’s a demon, right? Or she’s possessed. She’s got such a creepy look in her eye, so I can’t look right at her for too long, or else she’ll kill me… ;-)

  11. Oh my goodness – I laughed so hard while reading the baby tests.

    Since all of my “little ones” are now between 20 and 31 years old, I based my tests on remembered behavior (and believe me, some of their behavior was/is memorable!)

    my first son tested as a vampire

    my middle son could have been a werewolf baby

    my youngest son and my only daughter both qualified as demon babies!

    ahhh – I always wondered what was up with my children!

    Wonderful guest post

    I could have sworn I used to follow this blog on my blogger, but now I get e-mail notices for updated blogs

    I linked to this contest at http://mardel-rabidreader.blogspot.com/

    Congratulations to Mommy Jackie and Baby Simon – love babies.

    congratulations of course, to Carolyn Crane for the new book release coming up! Can’t wait to read Double Cross!

  12. dont have kids but my nephew’s definitely a demon LOL!
    congratz on the were-baby Jackie :)
    hope to have a pup of my own someday :D
    +1 twitter follower, +1 FB friend

  13. Well if I had a kid I’d probably want a werewolf baby. :)

    Would love to win Double Cross because the first book was very awesome.

    +1 Twitter follower @GeckyBoz

  14. Hi Carolyn – enjoyed the quiz. I don’t have any kids but I do have two wonderfully diabolical nephews. They must be a hybrid of were, demon and vampire because they: a)howl and go alpha over the family dog; b)speak their own language and laugh hysterically when the adults are around; c)generally suck the life out of you after only two hours into babysitting.

  15. I don’t have any kiddos, but if I did I would probably want mix. Fae would be nice, because that could give that a wonderful outlook on life and a relatively sunny dispostion. On the other hand, it would appear from many descriptions of the Fae to make it incredibly hard for them to keep down a job. Fae babies might make up 50% of those living in their parent’s basement past the age of 35. Vampire babies might end up more responsible or more like a wild hellion. It’s so hard to choose!

  16. Carolyn, what was your road to publication like? I’m an aspiring writer and have been asking this a lot lately of published authors. Any advice to give to an aspiring writer?

  17. Hey! Thanks everybody for stopping by! Wow, lots of paranormal kids out there. I’m glad I’m not a substitute teacher. And a couple questions:
    Tez: Oh, good call! Little CJ a demon? I think SO!!

    Jessica: My advice to aspiring writers is pretty boring, just to not give up. Getting yourself past the disappointments is as much part of the game as knowing grammar. And write consistently. Don’t wait for the muse. Good Luck!!

  18. No kids, but if I did have any, I’d hope they’d be werewolf babies. I certainly don’t want a demon child and since I’m a day person, having a night dwelling child might get a bit tiring. Werewolves, on the other hand, seem like a good compromise. Just have to get through the housebreaking and then we’d be all set.

    I haven’t read Mind Games yet, so I’d love to win that.

    Commented on Dark and Disorderly

    jen at delux dot com

  19. I don’t have a child but I wouldn’t mind one that is a demon or demonically possessed

    +1 follow on twitter @throuthehaze

    I would love a copy of Double Cross!

    Raelena
    throuthehaze at gmail dot com

  20. *g* that are great questions!! I’ve no kids, but a werewolf-baby would be cool, wouldn’t it? I could cuddle with him or her all day long ;)

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