In which I rant about old characters
Okay, so this is going to be a super short and slightly random rant. But then, aren’t all my rants slightly random? Yes, yes they are. Anyway, getting back to today’s topic: old characters. How is it that I don’t bat an eyelash when I find out some supernatural character is several hundred years old (“He’s 456? Awesome!”) but when I find out a human character is old then I’m flabbergasted (“Wait, he’s 54?! DUDE! He’s ANCIENT!”). I should point out right now that it’s the hero/heroine’s ages I get shocked over – not random secondary characters. I don’t care if Uncle Billy is 54, but if Hot Human Hero is 64 then I’m all, “Uh…..next book!”.
When I found out Butch, from the Black Dagger Brotherhood, was about 50 years old, my first thought was, “Wow he’s old.” My second thought was, “How can I possibly think that that’s old when every other Brother is several hundred years old? He’s like a baby to them!” Was I being age-ist just because he was human and not a vampire like the rest of them? Yep, I totally was. But I did end up falling head over heels in love with Butch, so maybe I’m not so terrible after all.
As much as the older human characters’ age bothers me, strangely, any giant gaps in age in relationships don’t bother me at all. Talking about supernaturals again. I mean, an 80 year old human man with a 20 year old human girl is “Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!” But anytime a 387 year old vampire falls in love with a 27 year old human woman then I’m all “That’s cool.” Unless said vampire sparkles.
In Joss Ware’s book Night Betrayed, the hero and heroine were both old humans BUT they looked really young. (It had something to do with surviving the apocalypse. Magical stuff.) Theo was almost 80 and Selena was 50 but they both looked like they were 30ish. I could have gone with it (they’re somewhat supernatural. I mean, you don’t often see an 80 year old man looking like a hot buff 30 year old man unless he’s had a TON of plastic surgery. And taken steroids.) except Theo’s identical twin brother was walking around. Lou wasn’t as lucky during the apocalypse. He did survive, which is always nice, but he didn’t get any supernatural powers. So he aged like the normal human man he is. Meaning, he was old and wrinkly and had lots of white hair and no buff six-pack abs. As identical twins, that’s EXACTLY what Theo should have looked like. Can you see the problem?!?! I couldn’t always keep the young version of Theo in my mind, especially when Lou was around.
All in all, I suppose I am human age-ist. I mean, clearly I love supernaturals enough to accept their age but humans, nu-uh, no way. Is anyone else age-ist against humans like me?
P.S. I should probably add, I ONLY mean fictional characters. Real old people do not scare me or freak me out. And when I finally do grow up and get old, I will wear my wrinkles proudly! The sagging boobies will have to go though. I can’t stand them.