Last week I was reading a magazine, when Jellybean came over and said “I know that word, that is the, and that is she, and oh oh that is from”. Obviously, I was super excited and proud of her. However, after she walked away it hit me; she’s hit that stage where she’s reading everything that she sees. I looked down at that innocent magazine and thought, great, I’m screwed.
I read mostly paranormal romance, with some erotica from time to time, so I will literally have to be a ninja when I have a book open from now on! Or else one of them could get scarred for life. It’s true, I am one of those people who isn’t afraid of kids asking questions about life or why we have certain body parts; but I do not want to have a conversation about all the different pet names for a penis with my 5 year old. Or deal with a nightmare at 2am because someone dreamed about a wereanimal ripping a person to shreds! I just…no, no thank you, very much.
Ever since this exchange with her, I’ve been super anxious and jittery when I read. It’s killed the mood for me, which is extremely frustrating since I have already been struggling to find time to actually read anything. Now when I do manage to find a moment, I can’t even enjoy the story, because I’m too afraid I’m going to get ‘caught’.
So parents out there who has already been down this road, any tips for how to happily read around ankle biters? Or am I left to reading in the corner so no one can see behind me, until they move out of my house?
For you childless folks, can I come over to read for a few hours everyday? I promise to bring my own snacks, and you won’t even notice I’m there!