Today, I would like to introduce you to a truly interesting character. Ziggy Swift is in the process of writing his own autobiography and today he’s going to share a little of it with us.
Make sure you stick around to the end. There’s a pretty decent contest at the end!
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Jackie: Hello Ziggy!
Ziggy Swift: greetings captain Jackie.
Jackie: We’ve known each other for awhile, but for my readers, could you tell us a little bit about you?
Ziggy Swift: a little about me? I’m bald.
Jackie: could you give us a little more? What do you want people to know about you?
Ziggy Swift: oh, I like to hit things. big things, little things, live things, dead things. One time I hit a hippo and he got mad… lets see… oh, I have a friend name Tun who’s a grimlock. he doesn’t have eyes but he smells good. well, he sniffs good, he smells horrible. We killed worgs together once. OH, and I’m also a zeppelin pilot, or I was until I crashed it into a dragon.
Jackie: You crashed a zeppelin into a dragon…what happened?
Ziggy Swift: He didn’t like the cargo, so he popped us, then we landed in a swamp. Then trolls chased us and we got eated by a worm. That’s where I met my friend Grunn. he was makin armor in the worm.
Ziggy Swift: don’t worry tho, we turned the dragon to stone later on and he fell and broke.
Jackie: It sounds like you have a few interesting friends. Have you known them for long?
Jackie: Have you met any other interesting people during your travels?
Ziggy Swift: I met lots of people after I left my tribe. I met Semus, Kip and Tun in Q’al Tahn, then I met some elves who were sorta rude, then I met Kibbel the ogre. He smells worse than Tun and is dumber than llama dung… Lets see… I also met Grunn’s half brother Mongo- he’s a biiiig halforc who’s almost as dumb as Kibbel. Mongo makes booze in his tub. Mongo, Kibbel and I fought in the arena together- Good times.
Jackie: Have you met any wizards? What has been your experience with them?
Ziggy Swift: I’ve met a couple, but only trust a few. There was this one wizard, Leopoldo, who was a bad bad man. I accidentally stole his amulet and raised an undead army. They thought my brain looked tasty, so after the killed Leopoldo, they tried to eat me. That’s how I ended up in Willis- I ran. That’s where I met Burmat and Readby. Readby is just a sorcerer- he insists he’s not a wizard, but they both make things go boom, so I don’t get the difference. Burmat I knew for a long time before I found out we were related- if he would have took off the fake beard sooner I woulda known earlier- Neither of us can grow hair. He wears a fake beard because all great wizards have beards. OOH, then there’s Astinathis- Leopoldo worked for him. Astinathis was the guy who ripped open the world and killed my tribe’s ancestors. He’s a bad man, a very bad man…
Jackie: Did you know you were raising an undead army at the time?
Ziggy Swift: well, no.. what happened was Leopoldo was staying at the Inn where I was a stableboy. Every night he’d run off for several hours, then come back before dawn. Each night he’d take his saddle bags with him. Did I mention he was rude. One night he came back sorta dazed and forgot his bags, so I looked inside and BOOM IT’S A fireTRAP! After I stomped out the hayfires, I saw a sealed envelope had fallen out of the bag, so I held it up to a candle to see inside. Then the envelope caught on fire so I dropped it and stomped it out. That’s when I found the amulet. It was all covered with horse poo and ash, so I wiped it off. that’s when the skull eyes started to glow. I thought it was cool, so I kept doing it. I didn’t know it was gonna raise every body in the graveyard outside of town, and I didn’t know that they were gonna try to kill me for raising them. I felt bad because my boss clayton got killed by zombies. His wife blamed me, that’s why I never came back after running to Willis.
Jackie: So that’s how you got to Willis. I always wondered, but how did you end up with Clayton? I don’t think I’ve heard this story.
Ziggy Swift: Well, when I left my tribe, I went off to find other humans (they were all gnomish barbarians who raised me as their own). I was told to stay away from Willis because the king was evil, and Devitt was the safest human city to travel to. When I first got there, I got a job as a lumberjack working for a mean half-orc named Charles… it didn’t really work out (showed up hung over for my first day, mistook cement mix for soap in my bath, and killed his pet spider), so Clayton hired me as a stableboy since I had experience dealing with animals.
Jackie: What kind of experience have you had with animals?
Ziggy Swift: I raised sheep and pigs when I lived with the halflings in Q’al Tahn. Semus and his sheepdog Kip took care of the flock, and they taught me how to be a shepherd. They were the first non-gnomes I met.
Jackie: So when you’re not running from the undead, tending animals or killing dragons, what else do you like to do? Do you have any hobbies?
Ziggy Swift: Hobbies? like hitting things? I like to hit things. I got special clubs for hitting different things- My adopted father left me his Vorpal club- I chopped off a worg’s head with it. Oh, and I have a club named Damien who’s good at burning things, and a club named Frosty that freezes stuff. One time I hit a troll with Damien and he wasn’t real happy about it.
Jackie: Oh boy…Damien and Frosty. I’ve heard a lot about those two. Can you introduce them to the rest of my readers?
Ziggy Swift: … they’re clubs. I hit things with them.
Jackie: Okay….what kind of things would you hit them with? I’m assuming in your travels that you’ve come across a few monsters. Have they been with you during those times or did they join you afterwards? What kind of monsters have you encountered?
Ziggy Swift: The worst monster I’ve ever met is Astinathis. He may be human, but he’s the biggest monster I’ve ever met. He destroyed two civilizations because they were inconvenient. He turned King Vern into a paranoid tyrant and terrorized the people of Willis- the entire region- for over 200 years. I’d rather see him dead than any troll or goblin.
Jackie: He has destroyed two civilizations? Did you witness any of these acts?
Ziggy Swift: no, but they’re documented. He’s responsible for the rift that tore open the world and devoured Korinara and all of his rivals. He is responsible for the fog of death that enveloped Burlendown and poisoned the land for generations.
Jackie: What’s this rift you’re talking about? Fog of death?
Ziggy Swift: a long time ago there was a floating city called korinara- that’s where the wizards gathered. Astinathis was exiled, grew powerful, the ripped open reality and overlayed it with the plane of chaos. The wizards in the city were unable to use there magic and were slaughtered by the beasts within. The edge of the rift is called the Dark Curtain. Burlendown was a gnomish city that was near Korinara. When the council refused to turn over refugee wizards, Astinathis cast a spell that killed ever living creature in the city.
Jackie: Considering the world you live in, I take it you have quite a few stories to tell. How much of it are we going to see in you autobiography The Autobiography of Ziggy Swift: The Rise?
Ziggy Swift: The Rise is only half the story. Things sorta go downhill for me after that- that’s where The Autobiography of Ziggy Swift: The Fall will come in. I sorta go to a dark place before things get better.
Jackie: You have been an amazing Ziggy! Thank you for taking the time to answer my question, but before we leave, can I ask you one more question?
Ziggy Swift: No…wait…yes.
Jackie: I have to ask because it’s just that bizarre, but what kind of underwear does everybody wear?
Ziggy Swift: underwhat? oooh, you mean like armor? I usually just wear chainmail- it’s got some magic hoodoo on it so it looks like clothing. I don’t know about the others, but I’m sure Mongo, Grunn, Kibbel and Tun haven’t washed them in the last year- they’re not partial to baths.
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So what did you guys think? Ziggy is an interesting character and he’s one I’ve been dealing with for a while. Ziggy Swift is the main character from Jesse’s (the hubby) novel in progress. He started working on The Autobiography of Ziggy Swift: The Rise during NaNoWriMo 2008 and has been slowly polishing it up. He was generous enough to let me post an excerpt, which will be showing up shortly, but since today is April Fools Day, I figured he would be a good interviewee. Strangely enough, today Ziggy was a lot more coherent in this interview than I’ve seen him in months. On any normal day, he’s more apt to be talking gibberish. Here’s one such conversation he had with my artist (the man behind the LE eye):
Ziggy: I’m waiting like a stalking butler
Jordan: someone take that candlestick away from ziggy
Ziggy: this is the weirdest candle I’ve ever seen – I don’t see how you light it because there’s no wick. Your mom had a whole drawer full of them.
And because Ziggy didn’t think I talked about his Vorpal Club enough, here’s:
Ziggy: yay I just decapitated a worg with my vorpal club.
Ziggy: I ROCK.
Krox: or is it just vorpal in ziggy’s eyes?
Ziggy: The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back.
Ziggy: it decapitates. no need for an edge, just gotta make sure it’s properly lubed with elbow grease.
Ziggy: perhaps you need a vorpal stapler?
Contest Time! No Fooling. For putting everyone through a Ziggy conversation, I’m offering up something from my contest stack. How does a signed copy of Kim Harrison’s Dead Witch Walking sound? This is coming straight from my recent journey to Grand Rapids when she came to town, so it’s brand spanking fresh. And who knows, there may be something added to it now that Ziggy is thinking about participating in the contest. Anyway, to get your name in the drawing, all you have to do is ask Ziggy a question. He’ll be bouncing in and out during the day and he’ll answer any question you throw at him. Just be warned, if you start asking about his characters, he’s going to get confused. Afterall, this is his autobiography and to him it’s not fictional.
As always, there’s more ways of getting your name in the hat (remember, these aren’t mandatory to enter, just extra entries):
- +1 for each place you post about today’s contest on your blog, social network, or anywhere you can. Digg it, stumble it, twit it, share it with the world. Wherever you share it, make sure you add a link to it along with your answer.
- +1 to any review you comment on, however, comments must be meaningful. Just give me the title of the review and I’ll be able to figure it out from there.
- +1 Join the Literary Escapism Facebook page and/or follow LE on Twitter
- +10 Purchase any print novel through LE’s Amazon store sometime during this contest and send a copy of the receipt VIA email for your purchase to: myjaxon AT gmail DOT com. Each purchase is worth ten entries, but it has to be through the LE Amazon Link.
The contest will stay open until April 8th, at which time I’ll determine the winner with help from the Research Randomizer and the List Randomizer.
I have not been contacting winners, so you will need to check back to see if you’ve won.
The Master and Overlord or better known as the hubby who keeps LE running. He rarely reviews, but he's the one who keeps everything running smoothly from the IT perspective.
Ziggy will you bow to me faithfully?
No.
I always lose the arrows.
Ziggy, what did you want to be when you grew up? And how have your plans changed since then?
(Thanks for the great giveaway!)
Kimberly B: Well, I always wanted to BE a warrior, but what I really wanted to DO was meet other humans. Growing up in a tribe of barbaric gnomes (and being the only human) is sort of alienating- there were the obvious physical differences- their height, hair and lifespan being the most obvious- but it went deeper than that. Meeting other humans was a dream for me- what would they be like? Would they be nice? Strong? Boring? Cowards? I didn’t know, but I thought about it every time my aunt gave me the evil eye for being alive.
Things were worse since I was adopted by the Chief of the tribe. He found me the day after his own wife and son were buried, and thought I was a gift from the gods. Father always told me I’d follow in his footsteps when he was gone, but deep down I knew they’d never accept me… when he died- well, it turned out I was right.
I have a pretty sweet gig these days working for prince Tath- I travel all over and meet new people. For example, I know this guy named Hock who’s a minotaur- I swabbed his poopdeck (we were pirates, pervert) for a few years. I never thought I’d sail on the ocean growing up- just goes to show you how random life can be.
And trust me, I know a thing or two about random.
I’ve not yet read any of Kim Harrison;s work! I’d love to win a copy of Dead Witch Walking!
So, Ziggy? Who’s your favorite author? What is your favorite genre?
Thanks!
Have a great day every one!
Kate (aka YzhaBell’s BookShelf)
mleger0546(@)rogers(.)com
Ziggy, do you have a love interest?
Lovely!
Ziggy,
I’m a big believer in the importance of paying attention to your dreams. What’s your most vivid or disturbing recurring dream?
Ziggy I was wondering….if there was one person throughout history you could meet dead or alive today who would it be and why!? For example I have a three way tie with Freud, Shakespeare and Darwin =)
Hi, Ziggy! It’s a pleasure to “meet” you! My question is: what’s your family like, and do they approve of your hobby of hitting things with clubs?
Thanks for the contest! Looking forward to reading the new Kim Harrison book, win or not. I’m also a follower on Facebook :)
Kate L: I’m not much for book learnin’ to be honest. I mean, I know my letters and I’ve had a year of schooling, but I don’t read for fun. I didn’t even mean to write a book- I told a gnome a story and he wrote it down since I was chained to a wall at the time. We were both prisoners, but the deep dwarves liked me a lot less than him (We had a misunderstanding in the past; long story).
…so I guess I don’t have a favorite.
Phyllis Lamken: It’s complicated. I talk about it in my second book- I had a wife named Isabelle, but she got turned into a donkey, or so I thought. I haven’t seen her in many years… I really don’t want to talk about it.
On the bright side, now I have a donkey called Wife.
Cori K: Actually, when I took my rites of manhood, I had to venture into the dark curtain and seek out a sphynx. I saw a lot of bad things there, and they haunted my dreams for many years. Even now and again I have nightmares of a chaos beast trying to eat me.
Other than that I had a dream that I was wearing sun god robes and standing on a pyramid while a thousand screaming Val Kilmers threw batarangs at me.
Telma: I’d like to meet my Adopted Grandfather, Chief Hondo Redgear. He was killed in battle with some frost giants- no one knows what caused the explosion, but he was killed and his club (the legendary Horn of Merengu) was lost.
If I could talk to him, I’d ask him what happened to the club- if it was the club that exploded, and if not, if the club somehow survived and where it was.
Either him, or Captain Caveman.
Jenny J: I never met my real family- I was found abandoned by Chief Keltrem of the Fire Ant Tribe. He was as good of a father as anyone could ask for and the only true family I had. His wife and son were killed before my time by some tainted turnips picked too close to the toxic remains of Burlendown. Other than them, there’s my two cousins, Gunthorm and Algom and my Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt Marukan was my father’s sister- she didn’t like me because Gunthorm was supposed to be Chief before I was named his heir. Her second husband Kinnon was always kind to me, even though my cousins and aunt were downright cruel.
As far as approval goes, my father and grandfather both swung great clubs. My cousins and uncle also swung clubs. They are a way of life for the Fire Ants. We were cut off from the rest of the world, so we made due with what we had- spears, knives, axes and clubs.
Hey Ziggy,
Thanks for stopping in and talking to us. I’d like to ask a personal question.
I want to know what you want in a mate– a lover or a fighter?
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http://www.literaryescapism.com/8612/interview-ziggy-swift
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(=’.’=) Happy Easter from Bun!
(“)_(“)
Lisa:
My wife was both- she was brilliant and always tried to help me be better- that said, her enemies sent horrid beasts to capture her and she was always able to fend them off.
I miss her.
Ziggy,
Do you ever use explosives? I like the sound they make when they blow up.
LE for the contest I posted the link on my facebook page and I’m already a fan.
Ziggy , What made you to decide to write an autobiography , what prompted it as Ive alway wondered whether when people write an autobiography whether theres a reason behind it ?
Paula
BTW LE – Ive joined your FB Page and joining your twitter .
Feel free to check out my Readers advisory Book Blog – I do lots of different genres and will be doing an Author VIrtual Book Tour for the next couple of months.
http://www.paulazone.blogdrive.com
Hi Ziggy!
I’m curious…what is your dearest memory during your travels as a zeppelin pilot?
+1 Join the Literary Escapism Facebook page – Giada Mariani
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Thank you for this contest!^O^
Happy Easter!
Giada M.
Hi Ziggy! Jumping off from Giada’s question, what is your EARLIEST memory?
+1 I’ve added your contest to my reading bar today and my side bar.
Happy Easter! Miranda
PS – I came over here and entered because of your facebook post!
Janice D: Yes, When I helped some Elves escape the trollmarshes. They have these neat little arrowheads with spells trapped in them. I collected a few unbroken ones from where they were ambushed- never know when a good explosion can be useful.
Paula: It was an accident really. I offered to help track down a missing gnomish archaeologist named Horace- I ended up finding him in a Dwarven dungeon. Since this particular group of dwarves and I had met in the past, they beat me and chained me up real good. When Horace asked how I ended up in jail, I told him- 2 hours into my story he started writing it down for me.
Giada: To be honest I spend 6 months training and less than 2 weeks flying before we crashed. Out of all of that, the time I spent with Pimmel was precious. I did my best to save her, but… I…
Next question.
Miranda: Earliest memory… It would probably be Elder Leafdial trying another tonic to get me to grow hair. When the gnomish survivors of Burlendown found their homeland destroyed, Winter was well on it’s way. They didn’t have the skills to kill bouncers and tan leather yet, so the Alchemists who’d been on the outing created a hair growing tonic and coated every man, woman and child. The hair never went away, and it soon became part of their traditions; they’d coat the young with a tonic every fall and they’d grow in their own fur coat.
Besides being human, I was also bald when they found me- other than eyelashes, not a single hair will grow. I remember that year because Palfor was determined to get me to grow hair. One of the key ingredients is a hair sample- he tried bouncer, rabbit, wolf, even caterpillar. Nothing would grow. At one point he even tried an owl feather, but the result was the same.
I was the only one who wore clothes in the tribe, which in retrospect was a good thing once I got around to the outside world.
lol i feel like i should own a club now. Sorry about your grandfather.
who is Captin Caveman?
Really?
…
Really?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Caveman
Hi Ziggy,
You sound…er… interesting. My question is: Can you describe the land you live in? Are you a character in a book or movie?
Oh and Team Edward or Team Jacob?
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OMG I forgot about that character!!!! LOL!!! Thank you for reminding me.
Now I think I will meet him instead. PS you can watch him on youtube =)
Robin K:
When I was growing up, my tribe lived on the east side of OxBlood Gorge- that was the border between in the east Korinara and Koss in the west before Korinara was destroyed. Between the dark curtain, the mountains, and the stone guardians, my world had been been pretty small.
These days I live in the Land of Koss- the capital city Willis, specifically. It grew a bit wild during King Vern’s rule- progress stopped, roads broke down, monsters roamed the land. We’ve been doing pretty good running out the goblins and bandits the past few months, and that’s made a world of difference. You don’t need an armed guard to move between most cities.
As for a book- I am writing my autobiography, so yes. I look forward to a movie deal.
I had to ask Jackie what that means. I’m not real fond of undead or fleas, so “how bout no?” to both.
Ziggy,
What’s your favorite food?
SandyG:
No contest, bacon. It’s a pig’s way of apologizing for smelling bad.