When I first read the description for Fat Vampire: A Never Coming of Age Story by Adam Rex, I couldn’t wait to read the book. I pre-ordered it and as soon as I was done reading books that had review deadlines, I immediately started it. The book sounded like an amusing take on vampires and I was all for it. Fat Vampire appeared to be right in my sense of humor wheelhouse and I was more than ready to enjoy a quirky book about a dorky, fat, teenage boy turned vampire.
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it’s just not the same.
Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it’s not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . .
Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.
The book revolves around Doug and Senjal as the main characters. Doug is a newly turned vampire, who is damned to live eternity as a fat, nerdy, 15 year old. Senjal is a foreign exchange student from India, sent here by her parents because she has “The Google”. It seems like they are supposed to be the big romance in the book, but…well you’ll just have to see for yourself, as I don’t want to spoil it. Let’s just say I wasn’t feeling any real chemistry between these two, except until the last few pages of the book.
As I mentioned earlier I was expecting Fat Vampire to be a funny and quirky book but, I was severely disappointed. The very first few chapters involving Doug and his best friend Jay at a party and then Comic Con were highly amusing, but then the comedy fizzled. The book went off in several directions and never really seemed to get back to the humor I loved so much in the beginning, which was a huge mistake in my opinion. To me, the plot of the book seemed all over the place, even though there were “ties” keeping it all together. Fat Vampire follows the stories of Doug as he tries to get acclimated with being a vampire, Senjal and her new life as a transfer student in America and Alan the fraud host of a “reality” TV show called Vampire Hunters. Through the book, Doug deals with his unrequited love for Senjal and the fact that Vampire Hunters is finally on the hunt of a real vampire…him. As the book moves on, Doug goes from being a guy you genuinely feel sorry for to someone you can’t respect. Senjal, on the other hand, I just found all together pretty uninteresting and the Alan/Vampire Hunter storyline was just kind of silly. Each character/storyline probably could’ve worked if written properly, but in my eyes they weren’t. I never really felt like the author gave me something to keep me invested in each of the characters.
To be honest, the two characters I ended up liking most in the book were Jay and Cat. I found both of these characters to be interested and wanted to learn more about each of them. Plus they had a really cute chemistry together. I almost wish the book was about them, it probably would’ve been much more enjoyable.
It’s funny, for all of my complaints about this book, I read it pretty quickly. Normally when I don’t like a book it takes me forever to get through it, but that wasn’t the case this time. Maybe it’s because I just kept thinking there would be something to redeem it, but that was definitely not the case. In fact, as Fat Vampire went on, it seemed to get worse…the end of the story left me feeling confused and empty. It was like the author rushed to try and give a conclusion to all of the open storylines and failed miserably. The end was such a hodge podge mess I’m not even 100% sure I understand part of it (if someone would like to try and explain below, please do…just make sure to put a spoiler warning for those who haven’t read *grin*).
All in all I’d have to say it’s been a long time since I’ve seen so much wasted potential in a book. It was almost as if the book started right and then tried to take on a persona that it wasn’t. So for those of you who are excited to read Fat Vampire, like I was, proceed with caution…this book isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.