In which I rant about nerds, sub-nerds and nerd groupies
Hi. My name is Casey and I’m a nerd. I am Team Picard; and, more importantly, I know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek. I can point out Mordor on a map (a map of Middle Earth, not Planet Earth); speaking of, I knew who Bilbo Baggins was before I knew who Brittney Spears was. Usually, I only play the evil level of sudoku. My brain is full of random facts, like A New Hope was originally planned as a stand alone movie, but then it did so well that George Lucas was able to make the rest of the movies. I can make random Harry Potter references in life (as in, “No, it’s not spew, it’s S.P.E.W.!” *stamps foot*). I watch The Nerdist. I know who Joss Whedon is. The library was the cool place that I hung out…actually it still is. I follow Wil Wheaton on Twitter. I want to be Amy Farrah Fowler when I grow up. And as if you didn’t already know, I spend most of my time reading.
But alas, I am not a real nerd. Nope. That extra long list of my nerdy characteristics isn’t nearly enough to qualify me as a nerd. Instead I get the sub-nerd label, because despite the extra long length of that list, I do lack some of the most important nerdy qualities. Such as:
- I am horribly pathetic at video games (I have decent hand eye coordination, but add a controller and I’m like a fingerless fish flopping around out of water);
- Never have I ever read a comic book;
- Just because I do know who Joss Whedon doesn’t mean I’ve ever watched/read any of his works (yeah, I’ve never watched an episode of Buffy in my life);
- I flat out refuse to watch/read anime;
- Math and science are my two mortal enemies;
- I can only name half of the superheroes in the Justice League of America;
- I am computer illiterate; and
- I am terrible at chess.
Clearly, Weird Al Yankovich’s White and Nerdy doesn’t describe me. Ergo the sub-nerd label. However, because I am so in love with nerds (you and me, Amy! I’ll be your new bestie!), I am also a nerd groupie. You know those band groupies, who follow rock stars on tour and have crazy wild monkey sex with them either on the bus or back stage after a concert? Well, that’s what I would do if nerds went on tour. Except they rarely go on tour and their tours are usually just going to universities and talking to students about whatever subject they’ve spent their life studying.
Regrettably, though, I have yet to tour with a nerd. Or even find a nerd to obsess over before sneaking on to his tour bus. Sigh. Instead I obsess from afar (and watch The Big Bang Theory all the time).
As per my Valentines Day rant, in which I ranted about how fictional men are so much better than real men, I must admit, I have much fewer fictional nerdy boyfriends. That’s because, sadly, there are fewer nerdy heroes than alpha heroes. Vicki Lewis Thompson, though, has an entire series about nerds! I adore that series because, duh, it’s all about the nerdiness. She tried to go alpha with her werewolf series but it didn’t click for me.
My darling readers, are any of you nerds out there I can adore from afar? Any sub-nerds like me who want to come out of the closet? Most importantly, are there any nerd groupies out there? And do you want to start a club? Are there any fictional nerdy boyfriends that I’ve missed?
P.S. Happy Pi Day everyone! Eat a pie and celebrate nerds! If you don’t know what Pi is, it’s a number that could go on forever. Literally. A small fraction of the numbers are: 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209.
P.P.S Yeah, I totally had to Google that. I just know 3.14. I am only a sub-nerd, remember?
Just out of curiosity, why do you refuse to watch anime? It’s not all hentai and tentacle pr0nz. ;) There are some really good ones out there, like Howl’s Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke, Read or Die, Trigun, Hellsing, Spirited Away…
<3,
-J
If you haven’t, read the Alien series by Gini Koch. The protagonist is a total geek girl and her best friend Chuckie is a nerd who suffered for it in school but all the things that made him an outcast as a kid worked out for him as an adult. More than that and it’ll get spoilery.
I’m a nerd. Really, more of a geek but to most people it’s the same thing. I love nerdy characters but since I don’t go for the most typical things, it’s more like I’m in on the joke than the joke is for me. But it means I can read the Dresden Files without getting sick of Harry’s constant reference to dorky things.
Is there a checklist?
I’m fairly aligned with you on most things, except Science and Math are my BFFs.
I don’t watch anime because the aesthetic is not to my taste. I dislike the voice overs. I dislike the characters’ enormous mouths. I’m sure there are wonderful exceptions to every genre, but it’s not my thing.
Let me see, the Justice League, without googling. I confess, I get them confused with Superfriends. I watched a lot of it in 1974 or so.
Superman
Aquaman
Batman
Wonder Woman
Wonder Twins
….
That’s all I’ve got.
I have dark hair and wear glasses, so people assume I’m smart which = Geeky/nerd/etc. ;-) this seems to be a big criteria, esp when people expect me to know things!
~I’m ok-ish at video games.
~I don’t read comic books, do strips in newspapers count? lol.
~I know Joss Whedon, watched some Buffy & all of Angel.
~I don’t watch anime.
~I CAN get maths, but it takes a looong time and i’d rather read instead. Science is a total no-no. (unless it involves a bunsen burner lol)
~I can’t name the Justice League, although in my defense I am not American. :-)
~I am computer literate
~I *can* play chess, but I’m pants at it. Unless I play children, then I can win about 25% of the time. :-)
There needs to be some sort of definitive geek/nerd scale out there. Apart from White & Nerdy. :-D
@Jess – Nicola said what I was going to say. It’s mainly the style of art/voice overs that annoy me. I know it’s not all nasty stuff, I did read Howl’s Moving Castle a few years ago and absolutely loved it; so if they followed the book at all, I’m sure it was awesome. (Not as awesome, but still awesome. *grin*)
@Devinise – That series is buried somewhere in my TBR pile. But if there is a nerdy character I am so moving it up towards the top! :D There is totally a difference between nerd and geek. I read an article somewhere that explained exactly how the two differ. Now if I could just remember what they said…
@Nicola – I haven’t found an offical checklist, but I think we should make one. Also, um, who are the Wonder Twins? I wasn’t around in 1974 so that might be why I have no idea who they are.
@Melissa – As long as I have a calculator I can do math. Otherwise I’m SOL. I don’t think the comic strips in newspapers count, but they’re still funny. :D You can help Nicola and I create an offical checklist! I’m not really sure how we’re going to do this…
Lol.
I didn’t think they would count, but they are entertaining. :-D
Haha, that would be brilliant! Maybe a collection from everyone ? On twitter or a post for everyone to write nerdy things. :-)
The offical checklist would be a thing of great awesomeness. :-)