Black Friday: The Twelve Days Of Christmas aka My Personal Hell by Dakota Cassidy

Black Friday 2013Black Friday is here and we’re discussing the season with Dakota Cassidy’s Nina Blackman-Statleon from The Accidental Werewolf 2: Something About Harry.

He’s in a furry situation.

Accountant Harry Ralph Emerson has always been a by-the-numbers kind of guy. But when he finds himself trapped at work sprouting an obscene amount of hair, he knows his odds for maintaining normalcy are zero to none. After a frantic internet search, Harry goes through the OOPS—Out in the Open Paranormal Support—checklist and comes to a disheartening conclusion: He’s turning into a werewolf and he needs help ASAP.

She might be the only solution.

Werewolf Mara Flaherty has long carried a torch for Pack Cosmetics’s sexy single accountant, even after her attempt to seduce him went down in flames. When her sister-in-law, Marty, shows up to handle Harry’s OOPS emergency, she tasks Mara with showing the hirsute hottie the ropes. But Mara knows Harry’s condition is a result of her lab experiment gone wrong—and the previously mild-mannered object of her affection is about to give her a piece of his mind?

Make sure you stick around to the end. We’ll be giving away an ecopy of The Accidental Werewolf 2: Something About Harry.
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DCassidy-Something About HarryMy name is Nina Blackman-Statleon. Cranky, potty-mouth vampire in the Accidental series by Dakota Cassidy. The series is a humorous take on what would happen if you were “accidentally” bitten by a paranormal.

I’m a product of that. So sucked for a while, but I adjusted. Anyway, eight books later and too many paranormal accidents to count, myself, my yappy BFF Marty Flaherty and my other BFF, Wanda Schwartz-Jefferson have formed a group called OOPS. Out In The Open Paranormal Support—because we figured there had to be more accidents than just ours.

We have a hotline and everything. So when Jackie asked Dakota to write a short story about one of her characters shopping on Black Friday, guess who got picked.

I hate to shop—so instead, I thought I’d sing you my paranormal version of The Twelve Days of Christmas. You know, like a flash mob while you shop.

Ahem–

The Twelve Days Of Christmas aka My Personal Hell

By Nina Blackman-Statleon

On the first day of Christmas
Marty gave to me (she’s who started this crazy crap):
And a paranormal shopping spree (at a designer discount mall. So sucks)

On the second day of Christmas
Marty and Wanda (she’s the other broad in this mess) gave to me:
Two turtle doves (Not real ones. The chocolate kind I can’t even eat)
And a paranormal shopping spree.

On the third day of Christmas
Marty and Wanda gave to me:
Three Bic pens (so I can write stuff on stupid sticky notes for this dumb group we have called OOPS—Out In The Open Paranormal Support)
Two turtle doves and
A paranormal shopping spree.

On the forth day of Christmas
Marty and Wanda gave to me:
Four too many words (Marty yaps like you wouldn’t believe, people)
Three Bic pens
Two turtle doves and
A paranormal shopping spree.

On the fifth day of Christmas
Marty and Wanda gave to me:
Five useless things (In a Secret Santa, no less. Stuff like makeup and hairspray and dumb crap I don’t even use. Bet Marty cleaned out her makeup drawer and re-gifted.)
Four too many words
Three Bic pens
Two turtle doves and
A paranormal shopping spree.

On the sixth day of Christmas,
Marty and Wanda gave to me:
Six werewolves mating (so much effin’ hair)
Five useless things
Four too many words
Three Bic pens
Two turtle doves and
A paranormal shopping spree.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
Marty and Wanda gave to me:
Seven vampires trimming (a tree, people)
Six werewolves mating
Five useless things
Four too many words
Three Bic pens
Two turtle doves and
A paranormal shopping spree.

On the eight day of Christmas,
Marty and Wanda gave to me:
Eight demons filking (people, look that word up. You’ll roll on floor and laugh when you think about demons doin’ it)
Seven vampires trimming
Six werewolves mating
Five useless things
Four too many words
Three Bic pens
Two turtle doves and
A paranormal shopping spree.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
Marty and Wanda gave to me:
Nine genies dancing (a madhouse. I live in a madhouse)
Eight demons filking
Seven vampires trimming
Six werewolves mating
Five useless things
Four too many words
Three Bic pens
Two turtle doves and
A paranormal shopping spree.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
Marty and Wanda gave to me:
Ten paranormal mates asleeping ( I know it’s not a word, but it rhymes, yeah?)
Nine genies dancing (a madhouse. I live in a madhouse)
Eight demons filking
Seven vampires trimming
Six werewolves mating
Five useless things
Four too many words
Three Bic pens
Two turtle doves and
A paranormal shopping spree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
Marty and Wanda gave to me:
Eleven accidentally paranormal victims Skyping (always—it’s always something)
Ten paranormal mates asleeping (Again, I know it’s not a word, but it rhymes.)
Nine genies dancing
Eight demons filking
Seven vampires trimming
Six werewolves mating
Five useless things
Four too many words
Three Bic pens
Two turtle doves and
A paranormal shopping spree.

On the Twelfth day of Christmas,
Marty and Wanda gave to me:
Twelve phone lines humming (business at OOPS is good)
Eleven accidentally paranormal victims Skyping
Ten paranormal mates asleeping (still not a word)
Nine genies dancing
Eight demons filking
Seven vampires trimming
Six werewolves mating
Five useless things
Four too many words
Three Bic pens
Two turtle doves and
A paranormal shopping spree!

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Meet Dakota Cassidy!

Dakota Cassidy lives for a good laugh in life and in her writing. In fact, she almost loves a good giggle as much as she loves hair products and that’s saying something. Her goals in life are simple, (like really simple): banish the color yellow forever, create world peace via hot rollers and Aqua Net; and finally, nab every tiara in the land by competing in the Miss USA, Miss Universe, and Miss World pageants, then sweeping them in a stunning trifecta of much duct tape and Vaseline usage, all in just under one week. Oh, and write really fun books!

Dakota CassidyContact Info: website | Facebook | Twitter | GoodReads | Yahoo Group

Want to purchase Dakota’s novels?
Accidentals

  1. Accidental Werewolf
  2. Accidentally Dead
  3. The Accidental Human
  4. Accidentally Demonic
  5. Accidentally Catty
  6. Accidentally Dead, Again
  7. The Accidental Genie
  8. The Accidental Werewolf 2: Something About Harry
  9. The Accidental Dragon (Aug 5, 2014)

Please help spread the word: Tweet: #BlackFriday is here. Celebrate the chaos with #holiday #stories and #contests by 26 authors (Nov29-Dec24) http://wp.me/p3SIUp-atz
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Contest Time!

Thank you Dakota for taking part in Literary Escapism’s Black Friday!

Here’s the a Rafflecopter widget for the $25 giftcard giveaway.

Dakota is giving away an ecopy of The Accidental Werewolf 2: Something About Harry. To enter, all you have to do is answer this one question: What could Wanda and Marty give Nina on the 13th day of Christmas? (because who doesn’t want more than 12 days of present. *grin* Remember, you must answer the question in order to be entered.

Even though I’m not giving the additional entries any more, you can still help support the author by sharing their article, and this contest, on your blog, Twitter, Facebook, or anywhere you can. After all, the more people who are aware of this fabulous author ensures we get more fabulous stories.

The winner must post a review of the novel someplace. Whether it is on their own blog, Amazon, GoodReads, LibraryThing or wherever, it doesn’t matter. Just help get the word out.

All Black Friday contests will remain open until December 31st at which time I’ll determine the winner with help from the snazzy new plug-in I have. Have you checked out the other Black Friday contests yet? Check out the Master List to see all the Black Friday giveaways

I have not been contacting winners, so you will need to check back to see if you’ve won.

About Jackie 3273 Articles
I am a 30-something SAHM with two adorable boys and a supportive husband who is very tolerant of my reading addiction. I love to read and easily go through about a dozen books a month – well I did before I had kids. Now, not so much. After my first son was born, I began to take my hobby of reviewing a little more serious and started Literary Escapism to help with my sanity. I love to discuss the fabulous novels I’ve read and meeting all the wonderful people in the book blogging community has been amazing.

16 Comments

  1. On the 13th day of Christmas Marty and Wanda gave to me: a day of maid service to clean up that mess, ’cause they know I’m not cleaning up that crap! (I know it doesn’t rhyme, but that’s me. Go figure!) Fa,la, la…oh fudge! Since the baby I have to watch what I say. Grrr.

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