SOME SECRETS COME BACK TO HAUNT. OTHERS COME TO KILL…
Justine Jones has lived her life as a fearful hypochondriac until she’s lured into the web of a mysterious mastermind named Packard. He gifts her with extraordinary mental powers-dooming her to fight Midcity’s shadowy war on paranormal crime in order to find the peace she so desperately craves.
But now, serial killers with unheard-of skills are terrorizing the most powerful beings in Midcity, including mastermind Packard – and his oldest friend and worst enemy, Midcity’s new mayor, who has the ability to bend matter itself to his will.
As the body count grows, Justine faces a crisis of conscience as she tests the limits of her new powers and faces an impossible choice between two flawed but brilliant men . . . one on a journey of redemption, and the other descending into a pit of moral depravity.
First of all, congratulations to Jackie and baby Simon! What a lucky little baby Simon is to have you. How exciting!! I hope you two are enjoying each other (unless he hasn’t come out yet, and in that case…psst – hurry up, Simon!
Well, Jackie, you can’t fool us. We readers of your blog know the burning question that’s been on your mind about baby Simon – does he have, or will he develop, paranormal abilities of any kind? A telepath? Dhampire? Any fae blood in there? werewolf? Is Simon part alien? A weresnake at least?
I’m sorry to disappoint you – there are no weresnake or alien tests, but you’ll be happy to know that there are tests you can conduct on little Simon to determine if he has more common paranormal abilities. Aren’t you glad??
TEST #1: Is Simon going to develop into a vampire…or a dhampir?
Answer yes or no to the following questions:
- Does Simon require extra sunscreen?
- Does he dislike garlic-flavored baby formula?
- Has he ever tried to gnaw on inappropriate objects?
- Does he gnaw on the throats or bellies of stuffed animals?
- Do his little fingernails seem to be growing at an alarmingly fast rate?
- Does he sleep a lot during the day?
- Does he seem to be far more alert at night?
- Does Simon seem to be annoyed at songs like “This little piggy” but enjoys depressing organ music?
Jackie, if you have answered yes to 5 or more of these questions, there is a strong chance Simon is a vampire baby, or a dhampir.
TEST #2: Is Simon going to develop into a werewolf?
- Instead of lullabies one night, play a recording of dogs howling. Does Simon:
- fuss and cry
- Look confused.
- Wail incredibly loudly
- Place a bloody hunk of room-temperature meat in Simon’s crib. Does he:
- fuss and cry
- Sniff the meat and look confused
- Salivate and/or attempt to gnaw on it
- Bring Simon outside when there is a full moon. Does he:
- fuss and cry
- Look at you and totally ignore the moon
- Wail incredibly loudly
- Show a cat to Simon. Does he
- Fuss and cry
- Turn away
- Move his little lips and babble and drool and try to get to it
- Take Simon’s favorite toy away and have somebody cover his eyes, and then hide it in the room. Does he:
- smile and think it’s a game
- move his little head around…as though he’s breathing in the scents
Jackie, if you answered C for most of these, Simon will transform into a werewolf! You should build a cage in the basement in a few years, and consider relocating to a rural area.
TEST #3: Is Simon a demon or demonically possessed?
Answer yes or no to the follow questions:
- Does Simon seem to dislike being called by his name, and ignores you when you say it…yet he turns his head toward your voice when you say other names?
- Does Simon intentionally drop toys?
- Have you ever had a babble conversation with Simon, but it really seems like he thinks he’s saying something? (i.e. speaking in an ancient demon language)
- Does Simon often stare at absolutely nothing, but it really seems like he sees something?
- Does Simon seem gleeful when there are animals around?
- Do you household pets seem to dislike Simon?
- Does Simon suddenly cry about absolutely nothing?
- Does Simon smile and laugh when you make weird, scary faces…as if he prefers that kind of face to a normal face?
- Does Simon drool or spit food out of his mouth when you play hymns or other religious music?
Jackie, if you answered YES for 5 of these, little Simon is a demon!!
Well, Jackie, I hope these tests have answered your questions about baby Simon. And, even if he is a paranormal, I’m sure it will be fine, and that he will be the cutest and sweetest little vampire, dhampir, werewolf or demon ever. Er, good luck!
Want to purchase Carolyn’s Justine Jones: Disillusionist novels?
Thank you Carolyn for compiling this great test! When I got it, I ran it against Ian as an infant and yup, he’s a werewolf. Four out of five questions were answered with “c”. That explains so much. *grin*
Contest Time! Carolyn has graciously offered to give away a signed copy of either Mind Games or Double Cross – winner’s choice. All you have to do is take the test against your own little one and let us know the results. If you don’t have your own, which species would you hope your little one answers to? Or you can simply ask Carolyn a question..
As always, there’s more ways of getting your name in the hat (remember, these aren’t mandatory to enter, just extra entries):
- +1 for each place you post about today’s contest on your blog, social network, or anywhere you can. Digg it, stumble it, twit it, share it with the world. Wherever you share it, make sure you add a link to it along with your answer.
- +1 to any review you comment on, however, comments must be meaningful. Just give me the title of the review and I’ll be able to figure it out from there.
- +1 If you are a follower of Literary Escapism on Facebook and/or Twitter
- +10 Purchase either Mind Games, Double Cross or any novel through LE’s Amazon store or the Book Depository sometime during this contest and send a copy of the receipt VIA email for your purchase to: jackie AT literaryescapism DOT com. Each purchase is worth ten entries.
There is one thing I am adding to my contests now…the winner must post a review of the novel someplace. Whether it is on their own blog, Amazon, GoodReads, LibraryThing or wherever, it doesn’t matter. Just help get the word out.
I have not been contacting winners, so you will need to check back to see if you’ve won.